When attempting to cook poached eggs, rice wine vinegar is not a suitable substitute for vinegar unless you like poached egg yolks.
Shopping at a 24 hour K-mart at 3am in the morning is just as boring as the infomercials playing on TV.
Women lie. All the time. Never trust what we say. Even if we say we are OK with it just being sex, it's a lie. Get out while you can!
Men have two things on their mind at all times. What am I going to do in the next five minutes, and when am I next going to have sex. And possibly not in that order.
Cats are evil creatures.
Nudie runs from the shower to your room are not OK in a share house.
Dancing around in your underpants with the music on full blast is not OK in a share house.
Making any kind of baked goods to apologise for any of above said occurrences is definitely OK in a share house.
To make any baked goods, rolled oats, flour and honey do not make Anzac cookies - no matter how much honey you add to stick the mixture together.
Anchorman is the greatest movie in the world. And yes, I am kind of a big deal and I have many leather bound books, and yes, my apartment does smell like rich mahogany.
1 comment:
Miss Fielding,
I am herby officially rebutting the following quotations
a. “Nudie runs from the shower to your room are not OK in a share house”
b. ”Dancing around in your underpants with the music on full blast is not OK in a share house.”
a. “Nudie runs from the shower to your room are not OK in a share house”
Does this include a towel? I understand that “Nudie run” implies NUDE and therefore it does not introduce coverage of any part of the body and thus, does not include a towel.
I am a strong supporter of Nudie runs to the bathroom, into my bedroom covered with a towel. I complete these Nudie runs at my house (I also live in a share house), and at my grandparents’ house (I am only a swift gallop from my bathroom) at least once a day and consider it one of the most liberating things a young lady can participate in.
I consider these rules when participating in a “Share house Nudie run,”
1. The runner must be running to a room no more than 20 meters away.
2. The runner, if just showered must have dried their feet to avoid slippage in the process of running.
3. If the runner is running to the clothesline/close horse to pick up their forgotten clothes, this is acceptable: as long as an appropriate warning is given. This warning must be a clear, concise shriek to all members of the household to avoid embarrassment.
4. The runner must have the following body parts covered at all times whilst participating in a ‘share house Nudie run’
- If a woman, nipples/breasts
- Bottom – not just the crack.
- Groin – not just the ‘rude bits’
- Stomach
These parts must be covered entirely with a towel or a sheet.
5. 5. Finally, if the runner is completing an “ABSOLUTE Nudie run”, they must complete the instructions for step three “Appropriate warning MUST be given. This warning must be a clear, concise shriek to all members of the household to avoid embarrassment.” In addition, the nude runner must cover the following ‘parts’ with their hands
a. Groin
b. If a woman, nipples/breasts
c. If a man, Bottom
c. ”Dancing around in your underpants with the music on full blast is not OK in a share house.” This is perfectly acceptable if done in the privacy of your own room. This is also perfectly acceptable if completed in the following areas with
- Lounge room
- Bathroom
- Laundry
- Kitchen
- Verandah
- Backyard
…. As long as steps 3 and 5 in component “a” are completed “Appropriate warning MUST be given. This warning must be a clear, concise shriek to all members of the household to avoid embarrassment.”
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