...How long can I really be single?
So yes, it does bother me a lot actually that I am single. No matter how good I think I am at being single, it still sucks. Not in a self loathing ‘why is my life so bad’ kind of way, but just in the way that yes, it is crap.
Don’t get me wrong I do try; we all do. We buy new clothes, have nice hair and smile a lot and make good with what we have got, but apparently it is just not enough!
Enough with the self help books ‘he’s just not that into you’, ‘it’s just a date’ and ‘how to be single’. Enough is enough. No amount of informed reading will prepare you for the real word of single life. No amount of good advice given out by friends – and sometimes even strangers – will help.
You are single. Clearly it’s not your fault (all the books say so) and so therefore you spend yet another weekend in the supermarket shopping for one. Frozen dinners for one. Single slice of cheesecake for one. Life for one.
‘No that’s not another diet I am starting, that’s just how much food one person needs to eat.’
Its like the obesity epidemic brought on the idea of sharing the packet of tim tams with more than just yourself, but what about the rest of us loners out there? Fun to share plastered all across the packets in front of smiling families on picnics is just bullshit. Who has picnics these days anyways?
‘Hi my name is Michelle and I am single.’ You can just hear the words ringing out now at the singles anonymous meeting.
‘I have now been single now…oh lets see…my entire life?’
Sympathetic sighs fill the room from those who know the feeling. That feeling that no one else understands unless they too are in the middle of a drought; waiting for the rain that will never come.
I don’t hate couples, they just piss me off. Why sit there and rub it in? I’m not bitter at all. Just seriously pissed at the over share. I don’t sit there and complain to you how bitter and lonely I am, so why should I care that you like kissing the same person every five minutes for the rest of your life?
I don’t care either that this is an age old gripe amongst all single women around the world. Highlighted as a ‘serious issue’ by all who are single until a week later when they meet the person of their dreams and live happily ever after. Bullshit. Total and utter crap.
There is only so much sympathetic set-ups and Christmases alone before you seriously consider ending it all. I don't want to jump off a bridge and die; that's a tad extreme. I just don't want to be single!
Where are the movies about not finding the one true love? The movies where the one you love is in love with another? The movies where you really do end up old and alone surround by cats?
So what happens to the rest of us? The ones who never find ‘The One’?
And what happens to me? Because I hate cats!
